I can't do this. I just want to go home and leave all of this behind.

Stop fucking with my head. You don't care, so stop acting like you do. If you can't come out and do anything about it, don't hide behind song lyrics. I don't want your fake, anonymous sympathy. I spent two and a half years believing in something that was never real, so I don't plan on continuing the habit.

Maybe you were right after all
Maybe I'm just bad news
I've been drowning in memories
Call it residual blues
I fell asleep watching Veronica Mars again
I still futz with that tourniquet
I tried to squeeze on your dreams
Slung it on, it's a perfect fit
What do you suppose that means
My parents keep asking
When you're planning on coming around

If we'd only stayed together
I might not have fallen apart
But the words you served destroyed my planet
I'll stall before I start
I'll stall before I start anything at all

Got a job at a Common Grounds
I finally shaved off that beard
Sold my Xbox to Jimmy down the street
Hell, I even quit smoking weed
I'm taking an online course
I'l learning to speak Japanese

If we'd only stayed together
I might not have fallen apart
But the words you served destroyed my planet
I'll stall before I start
I'll stall before I start anything at all

The things that used to mean so much to me
Have gone the way of dinosaurs
Hopes and dreams and everything
All I want for you to be is happy or something
I guess anything is better than the time you spent
Hoping I got it sorted out
I sent you a postcard but the post office sent it back
They said the building's been torn down
I just miss what I thought we both had

If we'd only stayed together
I might not have fallen apart
But the words you served destroyed my planet
It's all my fucking fault

If we'd only stayed together
I might not have fallen apart
But the words you served destroyed my planet
I'll stall before I start
I'll stall before I start anything at all

The phone slips from a loose grip
Words were missed then, some apology
"I didn't want to tell you this
No, it's just some guy she's been hanging out with
I don't know, the past couple weeks I guess"
Well, thank you and hang up the phone
Let the funeral start, hear the casket close
Let's pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat
Well, laughter pours from under doors
In this house, I don't understand that sound no more
It seems artificial, like a TV set

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
This weight it must be satisfied
You offer only one reply
You know not what you do
But you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die
Well, ha ha ha

I remember everything
The words we spoke on freezing South Street
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school
You combed your hair inside that mirror
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears
Something about those bright colors
Would always make you feel better
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren't meant for anyone
It's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance
But there was once you

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you'd take care of me
You'd always be there
Well where are you now?

Haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
The plans were never finalized
But left to hang like yarn and twine
Dangling before my eyes
As you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die

And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings
In yet another clumsy chord
Haligh, haligh, an awful lie
This weight will now be satisfied
I'm gonna give you only one reply
I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided
Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack
He says the choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live

But do you want that?

Two to one
Static to the sound of
You and I undone
For the last time

And there this was
Hiding at the bottom
Of your swimming pool
Some September
But don't you think
I wish that I could stay
Your lips give you away

I can hear it
A jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not be rescued

Two to none
Roads that lead away from this
I'm following myself
Just this once
And I got spun
It appears you're spun as well
It happens when you pay attention
Or this could take all year

But when it's quiet
Does she hear me?
Jettisoned to the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd prefer not to be rescued
And oh I can feel her
She's dying just to keep me cold
And I'm finally numb
So please don't get me rescued
Rescued

And it's unclear
But this may be my last song

I can tell
She's raising hell
To give to me
She got me warm
So please don't get me rescued
And oh say you'll miss me
One last time
And I'll be strong
Whatever you do
Please don't get me rescued

'Cause I'm feeling like
I might need to be near you
And I feel alright
So please don't get me rescued

i'm feeling: okay
i'm falling apart to: Jack's Mannequin - Rescued

Is it wrong that I feel infinitely more calm and relieved right than I did last week? I really wasn't expecting it, but that might have to do with a certain someone who's finally come out of the woodwork. :)

i'm falling apart to: John Mayer - Perfectly Lonely

i tried driving away last night
got caught in the frost and starlight
as the appalachian sky held me down
hearing all i wanted drown in the car
on my way down to the reservoir

7.9.09

Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux
Yeah, I'm a shitty fan...I had NEVER listened to the album in its entirety until now (just made it to America's Suitehearts and stopped). All I can say is...wow. The more I listen to it, the more I fall in love with it. While the style is exceptionally different from TTTYG and FUCT (and even IOH, to a certain extent), it's still catchy as herpes and really interesting. Musically, FOB has been progressing on every album, but the change on this one is that the lyrics actually feel a BIT meaningful. TTTYG and FUCT felt genuine, and they were pretty easy to relate to, while IOH was Pete whining about being rich and famous...this album really shows a level of maturity that wasn't present in most of FOB's work...and hell, What A Catch, Donnie is probably the best song they've had. I mean, it gives a shout out to "Growing Up" so what's there NOT to like?

Empires - Howl
Got this one from April, and I really, really enjoyed it. At first, the lead singer's voice kind of bothered me, and it didn't impress me much lyrically, but the music had tons of energy. As a whole, I liked the album, and there were two or three songs that really stood out for me (especially "Hayley"). The acoustic songs were just the right length and they had enough to keep them interesting without turning into the cliche acoustic ballad. Very, very nice.

Valencia - This Could Be A Possibility
God, Valencia is such a good band. Enough said. Listen to them if you haven't already.

Okay...so that's it for today. I'm really, really looking for suggestions as to what to listen to next. It's so hard going through my Zune because I want to pick something fresh for me, but I never like going out of my comfort zone, so please, please, PLEASE suggest some albums for me. :D

Just so you know, here's what I've listened to recently:

Paramore - Ignorance (Single)
The Get Up Kids - Guilt Show
The Starting Line - The Make Yourself at Home EP
Say Anything - ...Is A Real Boy
Polaris - Music from the Adventures of Pete and Pete
Paramore - All We Know Is Falling
Paramore - The Summer Tic EP
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
The Sounds - Crossing the Rubicon
The Sounds - Dying to Say This to You
Something Corporate - Ready...Break
Something Corporate - Leaving Through The Window
Something Corporate - North
Jack's Mannequin - The Ghost Overground EP
Jack's Mannequin - In Valleys EP
Jack's Mannequin - Everything In Transit
Motion City Soundtrack - Commit This To Memory
All Time Low - So Wrong, It's Right
Morrissey - Years of Refusal
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
Four Year Strong - Rise or Die Trying
AFI - The Art of Drowning

Tags: music, pop punk, summer
i'm feeling: tired
i'm falling apart to: Valencia - Que Sera Sera

Okay, so for the past week or two, I've made myself a promise: I'm going to try my absolute hardest to listen through 2-3 albums a day...stuff I haven't heard, stuff I want to hear, stuff I've heard millions of times...just anything. All of this comes from the desire to keep myself listening to new material while reminding myself why I love the stuff that I love. I've done it a little bit already, but I think I'm going to start keeping track of it in here.

7.8.09 (haha, cool)

Paramore - Ignorance (Single)
Okay, this single came out yesterday and it's already up to around 200 on my iTunes. I've already heard the live version since May, and while I did like the live version better at first, the studio version is REALLY growing on me. Seriously, I cannot wait for this album, and it comes out the same day as the new AFI album...how am I going to handle it? haha

The Get Up Kids - Guilt Show
Okay, I seriously think that this is the epitome of pop punk. While everything that TGUK have done is great, this album just has that air of perfection about it. Each song is catchy, interesting, AND lyrically powerful, which is VERY hard to find. I love recommending this album to people, but then they seem to have a problem transitioning to their older albums, just because this one is so accessible, yet soooo good.

The Starting Line - The Make Yourself At Home EP
Listening to this today really made me miss this band. I really like Person L, but I personally liked TSL soooo much better. Even though this is a full acoustic EP, it still has that certain energy that's in every TSL song. That's pretty awesome, considering that so many bands just crank out acoustic songs that seem flat and boring. By the way, it's got Best of Me, so what's not to like?

Okay...so that's it for today. I'm really, really looking for suggestions as to what to listen to next. It's so hard going through my Zune because I want to pick something fresh for me, but I never like going out of my comfort zone, so please, please, PLEASE suggest some albums for me. :D

Just so you know, here's what I've listened to recently:

Say Anything - ...Is A Real Boy
Polaris - Music from the Adventures of Pete and Pete
Paramore - All We Know Is Falling
Paramore - The Summer Tic EP
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
The Sounds - Crossing the Rubicon
The Sounds - Dying to Say This to You
Something Corporate - Ready...Break
Something Corporate - Leaving Through The Window
Something Corporate - North
Jack's Mannequin - The Ghost Overground EP
Jack's Mannequin - In Valleys EP
Jack's Mannequin - Everything In Transit
Motion City Soundtrack - Commit This To Memory
All Time Low - So Wrong, It's Right
Morrissey - Years of Refusal
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
Four Year Strong - Rise or Die Trying
AFI - The Art of Drowning

Tags: music, pop punk, summer
i'm feeling: accomplished
i'm falling apart to: The Get Up Kids - Never Be Alone

She makes a lot of abstract art
She haggles for the cheapest price
She never orders take out food before ten o'clock at night
She's really into snowmobiles
She owns a lot of nice flashlights
She cares for all the stupid cats that never found their way home
She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives
She quotes a lot of Annie Hall
She misplaced her virginity back in 1995
She's what's keeping me alive
She's the pizza of my eye
Without her near me I would not survive

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine

She's always eating Captain Crunch
She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five
She's scared to death of cobra snakes
Just like Indiana Jones
She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes
She drinks a lot of Chardonnay
She hates the way I comb my hair
But she married me last June
She was the bride, I was the groom
I cried a lot and then we spooned
Without her in my life I would be doomed

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine
Tell me I'll be fine

She loves the smell of Christmas trees
She sneezes when she sees bright lights
She fainted on the kitchen floor
When her father passed away
Our baby girl is due this May
And when the little lady grows up
I hope that she will be just like her mother

i'm feeling: happy
i'm falling apart to: Motion City Soundtrack - Antonia

my dad's dead.

how the fuck?

i'm feeling: confused
i'm falling apart to: Paramore - Emergency